Ocnus.Net
News Before It's News
About us | Ocnus? |

Front Page 
 
 Africa
 
 Analyses
 
 Business
 
 Dark Side
 
 Defence & Arms
 
 Dysfunctions
 
 Editorial
 
 International
 
 Labour
 
 Light Side
 
 Research
Search

Light Side Last Updated: Mar 12, 2022 - 4:14:24 PM


Desperate Olympic Committee Attempts To Increase Viewership By Adding Skinny-Dipping To 2024 Games
By Onion 12/3/22
Mar 12, 2022 - 4:12:42 PM

Email this article
 Printer friendly page

LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND—In the wake of two straight Olympics with record-low TV ratings, an increasingly desperate International Olympic Committee announced plans Friday to increase viewership by adding skinny-dipping to the 2024 Summer Games in Paris.

 

Young beautiful pregnant woman underwater in blue
        ocean

“As times and tastes change, the Olympics are no different, which is why we’re giving viewers young and old alike a chance to watch the most ripped, nubile nude athletes compete to bring home the skinny-dipping gold,” said IOC president Thomas Bach, describing how the committee fast-tracked several skinny-dipping events—including pairs, synchronized, and 400-meter-relay skinny-dipping—so that each nation’s sexiest, most desirable athletes could train over the next two years. “These events will of course be broadcast live and with no censorship whatsoever. We’ll be working with our television and internet streaming providers to offer comprehensive underwater coverage of these outstanding, totally nude athletes as they seek Olympic glory. Who knows what they’ll get up to in the crystal-clear waters of our giant Olympic pools? You won’t want to miss the most supple, alluring, completely undressed athletes the world has ever seen.” Skinny-dipping is reportedly one of several new, more sensational changes to the Games, with the IOC also modifying rules for dressage events to mandate that all competitors must be nude and riding bareback on a horse.


Source:Ocnus.net 2022

Top of Page

Light Side
Latest Headlines
Donkey power the way to restore SA pride
Benedict Arnold Wishes He Had Had Special Master
Bridge collapses during ribbon-cutting ceremony in Congo
Supreme Court finds that the Civil War was wrongly decided, reinstates the Confederacy.
Higgs boson: ten years after its discovery, why this particle could unlock new physics beyond the standard model
Desperate Olympic Committee Attempts To Increase Viewership By Adding Skinny-Dipping To 2024 Games
Yogurt’s Long Journey
The Feast of Fools in the Middle Ages
The Story Behind the London Beer Flood of 1814
How Shane MacGowan became Ireland’s prodigal son