Light Side
Donkey power the way to restore SA pride
By Jaded DA (donkey advocate), Biz News, 21/1/22
Nov 22, 2022 - 12:40:23 PM

In a rare moment of clarity of thought, the North West provincial government has finally adopted a policy that may just be the saving grace for South Africa. The recently celebrated SA donkey carts handed over to communities finally shows foresight and vision rarely found in ANC-run government departments. 

With the ANC finally capitulating on trying to solve complex issues such as providing a working energy supply grid, a functioning national rail system, roads without potholes, working oil refineries or creating policy clarity that will ensure that vehicle manufacturers who will only be manufacturing EV vehicles beyond 2030 stay in SA, they have made a call on technology that we can be sure to see more of going forward – donkey carts. 

It makes sense that the first to adopt such magnificent transport should be cabinet ministers, provincial heads, municipal managers and mayors. They should be at the forefront of such developments, as befits their status. Blue light brigade vehicles could have additional extras added such as a green light – to represent going green in line with our COP27 agreements to reduce carbon emissions. The money saved by this new transport alone would run into hundreds of millions a year as no more luxury SUVs would be required, insurance and maintenance costs would be greatly reduced and drivers would not have to be specially trained black ops personnel hell-bent on a collision course with public vehicles.

This very clever industry development in SA would also be an incredible job creator as there would be a whole new job spectrum created, from donkey tackle manufacturers to donkey cart spares and a whole plethora of donkey dung removal companies – required to clean up after the VIPs have passed through town. A whole new world of opportunity would open up for driving schools as they adopt the K53 drivers test to a D01 donkey cart handlers’ test. And with parallel parking no longer a requirement for a licence, corruption would drop and fewer Metro police would need to be employed to take bribes. This money could then be used to invest in enterprise development and not free lunches for overweight cops.

Imagine also the additional infrastructure projects involved to remove highways and re-introduce cart tracks, with stopovers every 50km for fresh hay and water for the donkeys. The feed required and donkey breeding programmes would boost the Agri-sector immensely.

Potholes would now only require a bucket or two of manure to fix and all those nasty road maintenance costs that are so onerous to the taxpayer would be avoided. Crime stats and road death statistics would also fall drastically, with no interest in hi-jacking a donkey cart and very little chance of people being in fatal accidents. Life insurance and healthcare policies might then become more affordable for the general public, leaving fewer people requiring government grants.

With such an amazingly well thought out enterprise development move, plus money saving and a clean energy strategy, I finally have hope in SA’s future again. Perhaps the next major enterprise will be the reintroduction of water donkeys for water heating purposes. As loadshedding heads into the dark matter stage, we still need to keep our water heated and the coal industry going, as less will be required by Eskom every year going forward due to the power units all collapsing. It’s definitely a donkey win-win scenario, for sure. Long live the humble donkey!