"Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don't compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest."

"The first screw to get loose in your head is the one that holds your tongue in place."

"A goat also has a beard, but that doesn't make him a rabbi."

"You're only young once. After that it takes some other excuse for behaving like an idiot."

"Even if the majority agrees on an idiotic idea, it is still an idiotic idea."

"The greatness of this or any country may still be measured by the number of people trying to get IN vs. the number trying to get OUT."

"The best defense of our country is to keep it at all times WORTH defending."

"War doesn't prove who is right; only who is left."

"War is better at abolishing nations than nations are at abolishing wars."

"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist."

"The U.N. has been as effective against war as foghorns have been against fog."

"Behind every successful Jew stands a bigot who could not stop him."

"There are more important things in life than money. The trouble is they all cost money."

"Re: sex education in schools: 'Let them teach it! If the schools teach sex the way they teach everything else, the kids will lose interest anyhow.